I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize