i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
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