You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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