Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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