you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I need to sanitize my soul.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
