how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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