yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
