so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize