so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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