you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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