New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize