found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
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He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
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Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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