this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
