Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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