Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
