Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize