I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
