we're chasing vodka with high fives
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
