"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
