C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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