im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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