Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
