No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
