yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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