Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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