There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
