dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
