I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I puked a lego.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
