This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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