we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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