True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
