How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
