so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
