I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
