the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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