i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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