Swine flu is the new snow day.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
