it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
