THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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