If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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