I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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