I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
