I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
