i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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