dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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