They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
be right there i have to get my cape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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