Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
