OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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