I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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