Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize