I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
