i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
