They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
