I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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