also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
