i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
