cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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