Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
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You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
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I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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