Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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