Your dad touched me again.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
