she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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