How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Randomize
