Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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