I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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