i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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